I'm sorry for what you've been through. There are some very toxic "churches."
I humbly suggest that you reframe this event as letting go of "Christianity." Find some people to have fellowship with who also understand grace. Christianity isn't meant to be a solo project.
Jonathan, I totally agree that Christianity isn't meant to be done alone! I am actually right now working on intentionally cultivating some relationships with godly women in the church, even if I don't attend every Sunday right now. I for sure don't want to do life alone!!
As for the reframing, that actually makes so much sense to me. Because the Christianity I had wasn't the real version. I appreciate your comment and the suggestion!
Abiding in Christ is as different to a religious lifestyle as it gets. And the "fear and trembling" God requires is radically different to the weight of religious demands and formulae.
"Continue to work out your salvation [that is, cultivate it, bring it to full effect, actively pursue spiritual maturity] with awe-inspired fear and trembling [using serious caution and critical self-evaluation to avoid anything that might offend God or discredit the name of Christ]" (Philippians 2:12, Amplified Bible).
Yes! There is a responsibility to search our hearts and absolutely a need for a healthy fear of God. I think in my case, fear was emphasized over the love and kindness of God and things became out of balance to the point I was so terrified that I didn't even want to serve that god anymore. Thankfully that was a false representation of God and now he's bringing me into balance! The fear I had wasn't healthy at all. Thank you for your comment and for sharing that scripture!
I resonate with this message. I grew up in church, and have been burnt out by everyone else's expectations. Eventually, I walked away from church after a deeply painful experience. It was that that led me to seek healing. I'm receiving therapy for OCD too. It's a hard process, but really worth it. Thank you for sharing your story - I hope you continue to heal and recover
Alexandria, I can relate. I pursue relationship with God and His Son, not "religion". Religion has no power but a relationship with God does indeed have power, as you walk day by day with the One Who made you and loves you through the storms of life. I was a Prodigal to my Christian faith for 35 years and I can certainly relate to questioning and searching. The Good Shepherd came out after me for all those years...until I finally came back Home, in distress and dismay. I will never wander again. I pray that God will guide you to a good and solid Biblical church, because fellowship is certainly needed. I have a wonderful small church in which I have Brothers and Sisters in Christ, who pray with and for me and we hold each other up on our journey toward Heaven. God bless and keep you on your journey and to use the incredible gifts God gave you to help others along the way. Wendy
Wendy, thank you so much for the encouragement. I really appreciate that, and I'm glad you can relate with it! I'm also so happy for you that you've come home to the arms of Jesus.
A beautiful post of experiencing God. Moving beyond desire in our faith is essential to maturity. As you have written, you were only doing what you saw being done and mirroring what it looks like to be mature in the context of a performance based community--it was necessary to let that go and hear from God yourself; to let go of your mirrored desires for safety, legitimacy and provision in the organisation and in marriage. I loved reading about your journey. You will find those who continue to plug organised religion as many do their whole lives and never experience this kind of love from the Father. Go forward, and never look back.
Thank you so much for that Daniel!! 🙌 So encouraging. Yes I plan to continue moving forward. Even though other believers may misunderstand me at times. It's a hard and messy journey to be on. But I would rather be messy and real with God and others than to be fake and live in performance mode & fear based thinking my whole life!
I love this song! I was tempted to walk away from Christ last summer, but the Lord used 1 John 1:5 to keep me from falling away. He will hold me fast is an anthem of mine!
I'm sorry for what you've been through. There are some very toxic "churches."
I humbly suggest that you reframe this event as letting go of "Christianity." Find some people to have fellowship with who also understand grace. Christianity isn't meant to be a solo project.
Jonathan, I totally agree that Christianity isn't meant to be done alone! I am actually right now working on intentionally cultivating some relationships with godly women in the church, even if I don't attend every Sunday right now. I for sure don't want to do life alone!!
As for the reframing, that actually makes so much sense to me. Because the Christianity I had wasn't the real version. I appreciate your comment and the suggestion!
Abiding in Christ is as different to a religious lifestyle as it gets. And the "fear and trembling" God requires is radically different to the weight of religious demands and formulae.
"Continue to work out your salvation [that is, cultivate it, bring it to full effect, actively pursue spiritual maturity] with awe-inspired fear and trembling [using serious caution and critical self-evaluation to avoid anything that might offend God or discredit the name of Christ]" (Philippians 2:12, Amplified Bible).
Yes! There is a responsibility to search our hearts and absolutely a need for a healthy fear of God. I think in my case, fear was emphasized over the love and kindness of God and things became out of balance to the point I was so terrified that I didn't even want to serve that god anymore. Thankfully that was a false representation of God and now he's bringing me into balance! The fear I had wasn't healthy at all. Thank you for your comment and for sharing that scripture!
Very good writing. I’m sure alot of people can relate.
Thank you Tammy! Yes, I think so too.
I resonate with this message. I grew up in church, and have been burnt out by everyone else's expectations. Eventually, I walked away from church after a deeply painful experience. It was that that led me to seek healing. I'm receiving therapy for OCD too. It's a hard process, but really worth it. Thank you for sharing your story - I hope you continue to heal and recover
Oh wow, Rachael. I'm so sorry you had to go through this as well. But at least we're not alone in this experience. 💛 Thank you for sharing!
Alexandria, I can relate. I pursue relationship with God and His Son, not "religion". Religion has no power but a relationship with God does indeed have power, as you walk day by day with the One Who made you and loves you through the storms of life. I was a Prodigal to my Christian faith for 35 years and I can certainly relate to questioning and searching. The Good Shepherd came out after me for all those years...until I finally came back Home, in distress and dismay. I will never wander again. I pray that God will guide you to a good and solid Biblical church, because fellowship is certainly needed. I have a wonderful small church in which I have Brothers and Sisters in Christ, who pray with and for me and we hold each other up on our journey toward Heaven. God bless and keep you on your journey and to use the incredible gifts God gave you to help others along the way. Wendy
Wendy, thank you so much for the encouragement. I really appreciate that, and I'm glad you can relate with it! I'm also so happy for you that you've come home to the arms of Jesus.
A beautiful post of experiencing God. Moving beyond desire in our faith is essential to maturity. As you have written, you were only doing what you saw being done and mirroring what it looks like to be mature in the context of a performance based community--it was necessary to let that go and hear from God yourself; to let go of your mirrored desires for safety, legitimacy and provision in the organisation and in marriage. I loved reading about your journey. You will find those who continue to plug organised religion as many do their whole lives and never experience this kind of love from the Father. Go forward, and never look back.
Thank you so much for that Daniel!! 🙌 So encouraging. Yes I plan to continue moving forward. Even though other believers may misunderstand me at times. It's a hard and messy journey to be on. But I would rather be messy and real with God and others than to be fake and live in performance mode & fear based thinking my whole life!
I love this song! I was tempted to walk away from Christ last summer, but the Lord used 1 John 1:5 to keep me from falling away. He will hold me fast is an anthem of mine!
Aww that's awesome! So happy to hear you're still walking with Jesus. 🤍
This is so beautiful ❤️
Thank you Paula! 🤍